“This was definitely going to be the most exciting baby-sitting job I’d ever had”…..Mystery # 15: Kristy and the Vampires

Memory Reaction

This is going to sound stupid…but, I remember when I read this, I was all proud that I could call my town “cooler” than Stoneybrook. Because in this mystery, a TV movie is being filmed in Stoneybrook. But they filmed Welcome to the Dollhouse in my hometown, which was a “real” movie that went to the theaters. So, I thought it was cooler than the BSC. I know, it is sad. I still like to think I was cooler than the BSC, but not for that reason.

I also remember reading it more recently (when I must have been feeling nostalgic) and thinking that the reference to the press was way too much for a TV movie. But now that I think about it, some TV movies to get a lot of press.

Revisited Reaction

So, the set up is that they are filming some lame TV movie in Stoneybrook. One of the leads is Derek Masters, Stoneybook’s own “TV star” who shows up every few books. There is also some hunky teen heartthrob that everyone is in love with. Now, so far it is not so unbelievable. But, don’t worry, the ridiculousness stars soon. Mrs. Masters calls the BSC because Derek needs someone on set with him every day, and his parents don’t want to do it. Now, the part about Derek needing a guardian on set makes sense, because there are labor laws about child actors. But by definition, the guardian usually has to be someone OVER 18! I mean, really. A 13-year-old would still need a guardian themselves. So can one watch Derek? Argh.

But anyway, Kristy ends up with the job, and the book pretends Jessi isn’t the ones who is supposedly closest to Derek. Claudia ends up with a similar job for Derek’s little brother, which is even more ridiculous because he is four. What kind of set lets a four-year-old run around without their parents? But regardless, Kristy, Claud, and various BSCers get to spend their summer hanging around a movie set.

At first things go okay, but Derek has a few minor accidents (breaking a lamp and stuff) that are written off as him being a klutz. But then the accidents get a little more serious (the harness for a stunt being tampered with) and Kristy finds a threatening note in Derek’s trailer. The BSC starts to investigate, but really don’t do as much “detective work” as in the other books. They just talk about people on set who would want to hurt Derek. The main suspects are the hunky teen actor and his manager, both of whom are annoyed that Derek is getting more attention in the movie. Eventually, Kristy figures out that the accidents are caused by this girl who is in love with the teen hunk. She was mad that Derek looked like a better actor. Kristy stops things just before Derek rode off in a limo with cut breaks. Yes, it is that melodramatic.

We still get a happy ending though, because the girl gets treatment and the movie is finished and gets great reviews, blah, blah, blah.

High/Lowlights

• Kristy talks about how much she admires her mom for not falling apart when her dad left. I like when they let Kristy get into her family history, it gives her more depth.

• Kristy says the BSC counts the Masters as “regular clients” because they have a house in Stoneybrook. I think they count them as regular clients because they think it sounds cool to say they sit for an actor.

• The Masters need someone everyday for Derek and occasional days with his brother. Mary Anne can tell from the record book that Kristy is free for Derek (really? Kristy has no jobs at all?) and that Claud can sit for Todd (the brother). My question is, how does she know Claud can do it, when they don’t have a list of days she is needed? I hate plot holes like that.

• Kristy says Stacey never complains about being a diabetic. I guess she never read any of the Stacey books, huh?

• Kristy just shows up on the set looking for Derek and is able to walk right in. No security, nothing. Maybe this is why the movie has crazy fans sabotaging the set. These producers might want to invest in a little thing called security guards.

• Did Kristy really not know that movies are filmed out of order? I am trying to remember when I learned that, but I am sure it was before I was 13.

• So the movie is called Little Vampires. The only thing stopping me from calling it the most ridiculous vampire story ever, is that I just discovered the Twilight books.

• So Derek trips during a scene because the crazy fan put oil on the floor. And the director is all, “we have to reshoot this, but can’t do it now.” That makes NO sense. Wouldn’t they be doing multiple takes of each shot anyway? It would take a few minutes to get one more take of Derek walking out of the room. Doing it later adds hours to the process. Sorry. I studied video production, so when I see it portrayed so badly, I go crazy.

• Claire Pike is scared of vampires, so they have her dress up like a witch (cause witches are scarier than vampires). Again, they just let this little girl in costume walk around the set.

• Awe, Charlotte is “playing detective” and following the teen actor. She ends up walking right onto the set and the director yells at her. I feel her embarrassment. Although, I will ask again. Where the hell is security?

• Mallory gets to be an extra in the movie, which boosts her self-esteem a little.

• Kristy uses the line, “That’s the sixty-four thousand dollar question?” and no one gets it. Kristy only repeats it because Watson said it, and doesn’t know where it is from. I feel old. And I wasn’t even alive when that show was on.

• Cokie Mason hangs out on the set all the time and throws a party for all the actors. The only people who go are the crew members and the child actors. But honestly, I have a hard time believing even those people would attend some random teenager’s party.

• Kristy actually feels bad for Cokie when no one good shows up at the party. That’s…out of character. But then everyone gets food poisoning from her food, and she hates her again.

• When the movie finishes filming in LA, Dawn gets hired to watch Derek. Of course.

• The last chapter is a “scrapbook” of articles/press clippings about the movie. Some of them include references to Derek as someone girls are flipping over. But he…is eight. I think it is supposed to be from some teen magazines, but even so, that is just wrong.